I Lost One Of My Balls
Wednesday, February 27, 2008 Filed in: Events
Mankind faces an ecological challenge. We have too
much garbage. One of my lost balls holds the solution
to the problem.
First, the problem.
Garbage. Lots of garbage. Landfills are full to overflowing and despite both conservation and recycling efforts, we produce ever more garbage.
Finally, my solution.
Garbage needs to go where the socks that get lost in our dryer go. Someplace where they are never found. Maybe it's a parallel universe or another dimension. Who cares? Those socks are gone forever.
But, they're just socks, right? Garbage is not socks. Garbage is solid. That problem is easily solved, too. So far, we've only tested a dryer's ability to make objects disappear because all we've given the dryer is clothing. I have proof that solid materials placed into a dryer can disappear, too.
My wife bought a couple of rubber balls designed to help 'fluff' clothing in a dryer as it spins. The idea is that the little rubber balls bounce around and the extra weight causes clothing to keep moving and not get bunched up. So far, I can't tell whether those little rubber balls work or not. They don't stop socks from disappearing.
Recently, we lost one of the bouncing rubber balls in the dryer. Or, wherever it is that they go when they disappear. One day there were two bouncing balls in the dryer, the next day there was only one. That's solid proof that dryers can make solid objects disappear.
The technology of a dryer can't be that difficult to figure out. It heats. It spins. Maybe there's a combination of heat and spin which causes objects to disappear. Maybe it has something to do with a combination of spinning and a universal law which requires that whatever is placed in a dryer in pairs (as in socks), will be reduced by one. A pair of socks becomes one sock. A pair of rubber balls becomes one ball.
A pair of pants is obviously exempt from the effects of the universal law.
First, the problem.
Garbage. Lots of garbage. Landfills are full to overflowing and despite both conservation and recycling efforts, we produce ever more garbage.
Finally, my solution.
Garbage needs to go where the socks that get lost in our dryer go. Someplace where they are never found. Maybe it's a parallel universe or another dimension. Who cares? Those socks are gone forever.
But, they're just socks, right? Garbage is not socks. Garbage is solid. That problem is easily solved, too. So far, we've only tested a dryer's ability to make objects disappear because all we've given the dryer is clothing. I have proof that solid materials placed into a dryer can disappear, too.
My wife bought a couple of rubber balls designed to help 'fluff' clothing in a dryer as it spins. The idea is that the little rubber balls bounce around and the extra weight causes clothing to keep moving and not get bunched up. So far, I can't tell whether those little rubber balls work or not. They don't stop socks from disappearing.
Recently, we lost one of the bouncing rubber balls in the dryer. Or, wherever it is that they go when they disappear. One day there were two bouncing balls in the dryer, the next day there was only one. That's solid proof that dryers can make solid objects disappear.
The technology of a dryer can't be that difficult to figure out. It heats. It spins. Maybe there's a combination of heat and spin which causes objects to disappear. Maybe it has something to do with a combination of spinning and a universal law which requires that whatever is placed in a dryer in pairs (as in socks), will be reduced by one. A pair of socks becomes one sock. A pair of rubber balls becomes one ball.
A pair of pants is obviously exempt from the effects of the universal law.
