Rain Makes People Stupid
Tuesday, September 18, 2007 Filed in: People
What is it about a little rain that makes people
stupid? Specifically, people with a driver's license
and a car.
A 15 minute commute became a 45-minute traffic ordeal today. Again. Why? Rain.
This was not a gully washer, or a tropical rain forrest rain, but more of a heavy sprinkle; the kind where you're not quite sure whether the windshield wipers should be on all the time or intermittent.
Rain causes people to become stupid drivers; the kind who leave their right turn signal on for 27 blocks, then change to the left lane.
Rain causes people to become so stupid they park their cars in the middle of an intersection, and become surprised when the green light they had becomes orange and then red while the car parked in front of their car still doesn't move. "Hey, the car in front of you is parked in the intersection, too. What did you expect?"
Rain causes traffic cops to become invisible or to disappear (assuming there's an effective difference) thereby avoiding all contact with motorists who decide to brake too quickly while the car immediately behind brakes too slowly.
Today's rain resembled a hurricane only in that both make the streets wet. A hurricane's wet lasts for hours, perhaps a day or two. Today's wet rain left within minutes of touching the streets and only after removing all shreds of intelligence from drivers and substituting it with stupidity.
Rain causes drivers to hurry, but only mentally, embedding in their brains a sense of urgency to reach a destination quicker than normal, while removing the driver's ability to comprehend the difference between gas pedal and brake.
Rain makes people stupid.
A 15 minute commute became a 45-minute traffic ordeal today. Again. Why? Rain.
This was not a gully washer, or a tropical rain forrest rain, but more of a heavy sprinkle; the kind where you're not quite sure whether the windshield wipers should be on all the time or intermittent.
Rain causes people to become stupid drivers; the kind who leave their right turn signal on for 27 blocks, then change to the left lane.
Rain causes people to become so stupid they park their cars in the middle of an intersection, and become surprised when the green light they had becomes orange and then red while the car parked in front of their car still doesn't move. "Hey, the car in front of you is parked in the intersection, too. What did you expect?"
Rain causes traffic cops to become invisible or to disappear (assuming there's an effective difference) thereby avoiding all contact with motorists who decide to brake too quickly while the car immediately behind brakes too slowly.
Today's rain resembled a hurricane only in that both make the streets wet. A hurricane's wet lasts for hours, perhaps a day or two. Today's wet rain left within minutes of touching the streets and only after removing all shreds of intelligence from drivers and substituting it with stupidity.
Rain causes drivers to hurry, but only mentally, embedding in their brains a sense of urgency to reach a destination quicker than normal, while removing the driver's ability to comprehend the difference between gas pedal and brake.
Rain makes people stupid.
