The Leaf Blower
Sunday, June 08, 2008 Filed in: Things
Not every problem has a solution. These days, we're
creating solutions for problems that don't exist.
Take the leaf blower. Please. Is there a more obnoxious and worthless piece of lawn janitorial equipment?
It's as loud as a gasoline powered weed eater but takes messy and irritating to a new level. For every leaf blower I see in use there's an operator who thanks the gods for the invention he's been chosen to use.
The leaf blower sucks in that it blows. It blows everything, not just leaves. It blows dirt and dust all over the place, into every nook and cranny and ear within 100 yards of said blowing.
I swear-- leaf blower operators are smiling some kind of evil smile while their noisy machines blow the guts out of a yard onto a sidewalk and into the street.
Smiling? Yes, all the while these nefarious operators know full well that by the same time tomorrow all the debris their evil little machine has discarded from the yard will return, only to be blown to bits again by the leaf blower.
The leaf blower is the black sheep of the yard maintenance tool family. Compare the leaf blower to its more effective and worthwhile cousins, the weed eater and the chain saw.
The weed eater actually cuts off the tops of weeds, which take a few days or weeks to grow back before requiring another eating.
The chain saw actually cuts off branches and limbs of trees which can then be used in a fireplace on a cold winter night.
See? Each has a considerable benefit to mankind. Not so the leaf blower.
Besides irritating people with a daily barrage of noise and dust and dirt moving at near light speed throughout a neighborhood, what good is the leaf blower?
I figured it out. It's economics. The leaf blower is the yard maintenance person's personal job security blanket. Who wouldn't want to run a leaf blower as part of a job description?
Everyday the leaf blower operator uses his demonic tool of choice to instigate aural violence on a hapless neighborhood, knowing that all the dust and dirt, and in some locations, eve leaves, will get blown back into the yard from which they came.
Leaf blowing is the perfect perpetual employment opportunity.
Take the leaf blower. Please. Is there a more obnoxious and worthless piece of lawn janitorial equipment?
It's as loud as a gasoline powered weed eater but takes messy and irritating to a new level. For every leaf blower I see in use there's an operator who thanks the gods for the invention he's been chosen to use.
The leaf blower sucks in that it blows. It blows everything, not just leaves. It blows dirt and dust all over the place, into every nook and cranny and ear within 100 yards of said blowing.
I swear-- leaf blower operators are smiling some kind of evil smile while their noisy machines blow the guts out of a yard onto a sidewalk and into the street.
Smiling? Yes, all the while these nefarious operators know full well that by the same time tomorrow all the debris their evil little machine has discarded from the yard will return, only to be blown to bits again by the leaf blower.
The leaf blower is the black sheep of the yard maintenance tool family. Compare the leaf blower to its more effective and worthwhile cousins, the weed eater and the chain saw.
The weed eater actually cuts off the tops of weeds, which take a few days or weeks to grow back before requiring another eating.
The chain saw actually cuts off branches and limbs of trees which can then be used in a fireplace on a cold winter night.
See? Each has a considerable benefit to mankind. Not so the leaf blower.
Besides irritating people with a daily barrage of noise and dust and dirt moving at near light speed throughout a neighborhood, what good is the leaf blower?
I figured it out. It's economics. The leaf blower is the yard maintenance person's personal job security blanket. Who wouldn't want to run a leaf blower as part of a job description?
Everyday the leaf blower operator uses his demonic tool of choice to instigate aural violence on a hapless neighborhood, knowing that all the dust and dirt, and in some locations, eve leaves, will get blown back into the yard from which they came.
Leaf blowing is the perfect perpetual employment opportunity.
