Most of us want to live. Some of us, for whatever reason, may want to die instead. I understand the sentiment.

I want to live and I want to die.

That’s my living paradox.

1 : a tenet contrary to received opinion

2a : a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is perhaps true

b : a self-contradictory statement that at first seems true

c : an argument that apparently derives self-contradictory conclusions by valid deduction from acceptable premises

3 : one (such as a person, situation, or action) having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases

Alright, that’s getting complicated.

There are times I want to die; partly because I feel bad, partly because I know there is no cure for ALS available at the corner drug store, and partly because I remember what living well was like, and, well, I prefer that.

Simply put, there are times I want to live; partly because, as noted, I remember what it was like, and partly because there are times when I feel better. The problem here is that feeling worse occupies more of the day than feeling better and that’s the general trend. Bad continually occupies more time than good.

And, yes, it could be worse.

So, I don’t want to complain about it too much.

Such is life. Everywhere we turn there are conundrums and paradoxes and conflicts galore, yet, somehow we find a way to live through them, sometimes thrive, but always with the same end. Death stares us in the face; perhaps from a distance, sometimes right in the face, nose-to-nose.

I prefer to live. There are times when I prefer to die.